Letter to my Husband September 26, 2010

So I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage and the future recently; mostly because I know plenty of people who fell in love and got married to people who they met in college. And I’ve never had a boyfriend before or anything. (Sunny, what? At 18?) 

Yeah. I don’t want to give my heart away too soon, or until I meet someone who I know is worthy of it and who I know loves me. (Some of you may call me naive, but when I get married, I want to be able to say that I waited for him and that I saved my heart for someone who deserved it.)

Who knows (aside from the Big Man Upstairs (AKA God, for those of you who are slow on the uptake)) who I’ll marry? Maybe I’ve met him. Maybe he’s a guy I see around. Maybe he’s a guy I’m friends with. Maybe I haven’t even met him yet. Maybe it’ll be tomorrow or next week or next year. Maybe I won’t meet him ’til I’m out of college. But I thought to myself that I wanted to write him a letter, whoever and wherever he is.

Dear Husband (And I plan on using your name once we actually meet and such),

I was writing you this letter because sometimes I’m not quite sure where you are or when this whole thing is going to work out. And I wanted to tell you that I’ve been waiting for you pretty much my whole life, and that whether or not I know you, I’m still waiting. And I don’t want you to worry, because if you’re not quite sure I’m out there and that I even exist, I do. And I have faith that everything will work out between you and me. So if you’re not sure, it’s okay. Waiting your whole life for something makes you pretty darn patient. So even though sometimes I wish this whole you-and-I thing would happen sooner, I know it will happen. I have my doubts some days, but underneath it all, I’m right here.

If you’re not sure you’ve found me, it’s okay to ask. And if it’s someone else, then don’t worry. You’ll find me. I’ll find you. However long it takes. And even if we don’t know each other yet, even if you don’t know it yet, I love you. So don’t give up hope, okay? There’s a light at the end of this tunnel. (Arrogant as this may sound; it’s me.) And I don’t know what else to say, really. I might know you. I might not. (I kind of hope I do.) But either way, what else is there to say? What would you be wondering, be asking? I plan on showing this to you eventually; probably either right before or shortly after we get married. It’s a little scary, that idea, but I thought that wherever you are out there, even if you don’t see this until years and years from now, you might need a little reassurance. And to the guys reading this who aren’t my future spouse, have a little faith that you will find your wife out here too, if you only wait a little.

So dearest, wherever you may be, who(m?)ever you may be, I love you. And I’ll wait.

Love,

(You’ll of course know my real name by the time you read this.)

Sunny

Okay ladies and gents, corny as that sounded; part of me is really eager to meet whoever it is God has in store for me, and part of me is scared to grow up and move on with life in such a bit way. Don’t worry too much about me, though. I’m not getting married AT LEAST for three years. I’ll graduate college before anything crazy happens. (And to my mother, who’s going to read this, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t freak out. I’m not doing anything stupid and I’m patiently waiting. I know you’ve been praying for my future spouse for a long time (I remember you telling me that a long time ago; that you were praying that we would find the people God knew would be good for us and that we would love.) So even if this gives you a little bit of mom-panic (Ohmigosh, my daughter’s looking for her husband! She’s only a college freshman! Ahhhhh!)  take a few deep breaths. I’m not old and I’m certainly not getting married for a long time. So calm down. I just wanted to write him, whoever he is, a letter. I think later in life, he’ll really appreciate it.)

Okay my lovelies, I really don’t know what else there is to say; this was mostly for my hubby, wherever he is. But if you have comments, please feel free to make them. And if you’d like to take the body of this letter for anything, ask first, but if I say yes, feel free. PLEASE remember that this is copyright me, so all you have to do is ASK.  It takes a few keystrokes; no big deal.

Much love to all of you, and hoping you find your special someones,

Sunny!

In Which Sunny Makes a Cop-Out-Ish Sounding Statement and Shares her Plans September 19, 2010

Wikipedia definition of cop-out: To avoid or shirk, either by failing to perform, or by performing in a grossly insufficient, negligent, or superficial manner en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cop_out

My definition of a cop-out: A statement made (either hastily or after thought has been given…or both) in which one covers one’s butt and takes back something that could have been misunderstood, or was understood to be rude/mean/innappropriate (ect).

Okay, so in some of my previous posts I’ve kinda slammed my suitemates and their friends (specifically a certain dude named L) and as I was riding my bike around at various times today, I was thinking about it. So even though I do have freedom of speech and those people will (hopefully) never read this, I’m making a public apology.

For those of you on my side saying, “But Sunny, you have every right to protest something you find offensive!” Yes, I know. But I do forget that I can be sharp and…well you’ll get it if you keep reading.

For those of you who don’t agree with me, saying, “You’re so judgemental.” Yeah. I can judge people. Everyone does. This does not make it a good thing, but it is something that happens. Keep reading.

Though it is true that L and 2 of my suitemates are drinkers and I’m pretty sure at least 2 out of three smoke weed occasionally, I think I gave the wrong impression. Do they have the right to do whatever they want? No. They’re breaking the law. Do I have the right to judge them for it? Also no. I think that the impression I gave was that I was a better person/superior/high-and-mighty/opinionated…take your pick.

I don’t think they’re bad people. I think they make bad decisions. I think that they need to be more mature. But I once heard a character named Seely Booth say that he thought a person had to be bad to learn how to be good. And I think that this may apply to these people. I personally don’t think I need to drink and smoke to get the wild out of my system (but then again, I don’t think I have a wild party animal in my system.) Lots of people act out in college and grow up to become responsible people. So however much I rag on them and complain, I want you to remember that that’s mostly me venting and deep down I don’t think they’re bad people, just a little misled.

On the subject of L: Yeah. He annoys me. I don’t like his language. I don’t like his attitude. But he is not like that 24/7. Sometimes, he can be reasonable and polite. He can be nice. He’s not a single-state person, and I think that portraying him as such, though it may be how I feel, isn’t accurate. When he’s not around me, he could be different. (I realize this sounds a bit like a battered woman defending her abusive boyfriend, but refer to the paragraph above about judging and whatnot.) Not that you should stay in an abusive relationship. Or that I condone it. MAN being politically correct and taking things back is hard. Remind me never to go into politics.

Okay, so tomorrow I have a buttload of stuff going on. A RAD class (which is a women’s self-defense class), church, Irish dance, a film I have to see for class, and an audition for the women’s a cappella group. Wish me luck, little sunny-followers! I have much to do and little time, so I’ll fare thee well. And in response to your mental question, the novel is still going well. Haven’t written it in a day or two, but this is okay. Have a great one!

Sunny